As I compare points on the map for my European ancestors, I realize something quite profound: I, too, have traveled quite far during my lifetime. Obviously, I have previously mentioned feeling more of a connection to New York City as a sort of “homeland,” but I have made it apparent that I live Appalachia these days. In essence, it feels like culture shock because the distance is very similar to moving into different countries. The (legal) state of Pennsylvania (for posterity, they call it a commonwealth) can fit the country of Czechia within its borders! Driving from one end of Germany to the other is nearly the equivalent of driving the length of Florida or Georgia, both of which I have traveled more than once! While I may sit here staring at the map wistfully, wanderlust filling my little heart, I fail to realize that even several countries in European reside in the same time zone — I am not behind at all! My journey just looks a little different.
In a sense, I am living an “immigrant” experience just like they did. We did things a certain way back “home,” and then several moves took my family through a few more states (South Florida and North-Central Florida are quite different culturally, too, in case you were wondering). Some areas had more “New York” diaspora, making assimilating into the culture easier, but others have been completely foreign to me. I feel like an outsider because I essentially am an outsider! I empathize more with immigrants because I share their confusion as we attempt to accustom ourselves to our new environment without disowning our own cultures and traditions. These days, it almost feels taboo to clutch your cultural identity without people demanding that you become fully and wholy one of them. I argue that they hold fast to their own history and traditions and should see the similarities and embrace that which makes each of us unique, but the fear of the unknown scares them.
What fascinates me is the proximity to the northern Appalachian Highlands to our brief foray out of The City — I encountered a similar experience of being othered by peers, which impacted the person I am today. A child who learned how to befriend nearly everyone suddenly had trouble making and keeping friends because she felt like a fish trying to climb a tree! How strange that I am here, living this experience regularly, fully embracing the person I have become and understanding that the right people will find me — my otherness will repel those who wish me ill. Will it still hurt my feelings as it has over the course of my lifetime? Oh, absolutely! It is both a blessing and a curse to feel this deeply, but I would not trade it when I see what numbness allows into the world.
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