A favorite writer’s newsletter landed in my inbox on the 30th of December, advertising her latest course package. Funny, I started following her before I decided I truly wanted to pursue this whole… professor thing. You know — where I use my elevated diction to write flowery posts spiced with sarcasm and spite? As I read through her usual brand of spunk, I found myself wrinkling my nose in disgust because I recognized… myself? Have I been guilty of the pompous nonsense I caution my own students against?! Surely not… right??? Ah, but I am me! I wavering between sounding educated and reverting to my old dialect from Flushing, Queens! What about the various Englishes we all use from one audience to the next depending on the demographics? Time for a pause….
Obviously, I operate under the impression here that I have an obscenely small audience: only one person who has subscribed via MailChimp has confirmed he still reads my material when the service pings his inbox. Therefore, I am not entirely pretentious if my audience understands my particular quirks. On the off chance a random reader happens upon my blog, I would much rather not have a stream of profanities waiting for consumption — regardless of my abilities to utilize such words when provoked (you can take the girl out of New York City, but you cannot take the New York City out of the girl). It’s a little something called “self-control,” which I find to be admirable in this day and age. Too many people think “oh, this person speaks their mind” or “they tell it like it is” is a better personality trait, but whatever happened to tact? (If you think I am directing this toward a specific human being, that is entirely up to you — I will neither confirm nor deny my intent.)
So, while I adore my parasocial friend and her clever copywriting skills, I think — actually — I do not need to worry about sounding like a pretentious jerk! No, I do not sound like some stuffy academic because I’m here to be the flowery, quirky professor chick who makes the weird kids feel welcomed in her classroom, and I have the evaluations to prove it! I shall calmeth my… well, you know.
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